Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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