Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
