hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
