O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
