i would punch a child for taco bell
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
