You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
