69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
