...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
