Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
