Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
