K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Randomize
