Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
