I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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