I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
