idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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