Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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