My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
