walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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