drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
