Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
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