is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
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