She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
this just has baby written all over it
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
