its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
