almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
