I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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