I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
