whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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