Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
