physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
