I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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