I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
