Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
