Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
