Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
