So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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