is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
