im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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