Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
True college students do jello shots in the library
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
