On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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