My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.