Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(669): View more from California

I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.

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(669): I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation. http://tfl.nu/imft

Replies (10) Good night (1118) Bad night (830)
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(253): View more from Washington

I'm going to rape someone's good day.

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(253): I'm going to rape someone's good day. http://tfl.nu/to10

Replies (14) Good night (3695) Bad night (1208)
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(770): View more from Georgia

and technically it was a rebound

(407): View more from Florida

so lol

(770): View more from Georgia

and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game

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(770): and technically it was a rebound (407): so lol (770): and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game http://tfl.nu/lfzh

Replies (15) Good night (682) Bad night (2401)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.

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(701): I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers. http://tfl.nu/q78w

Replies (9) Good night (3451) Bad night (620)
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(512): View more from Texas

Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.

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(512): Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise. http://tfl.nu/xhgo

Replies (13) Good night (5370) Bad night (548)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.

(847): View more from Illinois

Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.

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(773): I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant. (847): Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you. http://tfl.nu/48mv

Replies (63) Good night (2879) Bad night (6025)
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(618): View more from Illinois

you should give me head with plastic fangs in

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(618): you should give me head with plastic fangs in http://tfl.nu/ku60

Replies (59) Good night (2252) Bad night (8685)
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(330): View more from Ohio

fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever

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(330): fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever http://tfl.nu/itin

Replies (11) Good night (4990) Bad night (1078)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.

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(304): yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at. http://tfl.nu/ro5c

Replies (12) Good night (5956) Bad night (1151)
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(434): View more from Virginia

Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...

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(434): Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave... http://tfl.nu/1k20

Replies (13) Good night (2384) Bad night (752)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him

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(610): Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him http://tfl.nu/y954

Replies (2) Good night (1014) Bad night (519)
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(207): View more from Maine

Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.

(617): View more from Massachusetts

You would never do this sober.

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(207): Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good. (617): You would never do this sober. http://tfl.nu/h01i

Replies (9) Good night (1266) Bad night (457)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.

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(202): i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy. http://tfl.nu/piez

Replies (6) Good night (717) Bad night (326)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later

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(319): Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later http://tfl.nu/ccad

Replies (5) Good night (766) Bad night (539)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...

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(717): Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls... http://tfl.nu/qcx4

Replies (2) Good night (442) Bad night (208)

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