Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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