Texts From Last Night

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  (720): View more from Colorado

  the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.

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  (720): the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat. http://tfl.nu/19vn
  Replies (14) Good night (4548) Bad night (884)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Haha how do you remember that?

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  HOW COULD I FORGET?!

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  (717): Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later. (1-717): Haha how do you remember that? (717): HOW COULD I FORGET?! http://tfl.nu/ylr0
  Replies (39) Good night (5513) Bad night (806)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.

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  (205): we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit. http://tfl.nu/3r6b
  Replies (14) Good night (4920) Bad night (626)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am the drunkest girl in the tree.

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  (484): I am the drunkest girl in the tree. http://tfl.nu/zje1
  Replies (15) Good night (10429) Bad night (1059)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too

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  (703): well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too http://tfl.nu/1ldg
  Replies (18) Good night (6710) Bad night (853)
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  (619): View more from California

  I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.

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  (619): I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person. http://tfl.nu/uqdv
  Replies (54) Good night (1761) Bad night (5840)
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  (848): View more from New Jersey

  She said she wanted to have closure sex.

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  (848): She said she wanted to have closure sex. http://tfl.nu/0dyj
  Replies (9) Good night (3796) Bad night (1090)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!

  (940): View more from Texas

  HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.

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  (940): My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!! (940): HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT. http://tfl.nu/347l
  Replies (8) Good night (2027) Bad night (793)
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  (925): View more from California

  I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched

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  (925): I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched http://tfl.nu/8lpn
  Replies (2) Good night (645) Bad night (1132)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer

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  (315): I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer http://tfl.nu/lerj
  Replies (5) Good night (1280) Bad night (390)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted

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  (843): I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted http://tfl.nu/7fyh
  Replies (3) Good night (1119) Bad night (555)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna

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  (651): drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna http://tfl.nu/yd45
  Replies (3) Good night (395) Bad night (1593)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future

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  (720): My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future http://tfl.nu/mos1
  Replies (4) Good night (587) Bad night (422)
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  (+33): View more from France

  If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.

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  (+33): If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome. http://tfl.nu/f909
  Replies (6) Good night (2143) Bad night (367)
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  (310): View more from California

  Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.

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  (310): Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch. http://tfl.nu/am85
  Replies (3) Good night (814) Bad night (307)

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