R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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