I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
this is an emotional support booty call
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
