People with herpes should wear stickers.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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