Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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