So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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