Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
