LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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