Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
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