1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
