I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
