Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
