I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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