She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
