My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
