he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
