Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
