How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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