Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
