We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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